FRUSTRATED!!!!!

Sorry I have not been able to update the blog the past few days. Life has been busy with us! Yesterday when I got here Eli was back on the list to move to the floor. Unfortunately, there wasn't a room/nurse available all day until shift change at 7:00 PM. So we were just waiting around all day. Well not really we had to do labs and a bunch of other stuff before he could go. So at 7:00 we loaded him all up and wheeled his little bed over to the floor. I decided, since it was so late by the time we got moved, unpacked and reoriented to just spend the night.

It was a pretty rough night for me. Eli was on a completely different schedule than my pump schedule and was also on a completely different schedule hour to hour. I totally miss the rigidity of Evergreen and their care system. They did all cares, feedings included, every three hours and it never took longer than an hour. I truly feel that some of these nurses have no idea what to do for a premie! (Sorry to my nurse friends and family, I am just so frustrated right now). One person is really strict with his cares and do them every 3 hours like clock work, or get upset if he is not ready to eat after 3 hours and the next is really lax and will go 4-5 hours without doing a care. Plus here they are on all sorts of different schedules for things so he is essentially getting woken up hourly. Or they will do something on him (like a blood draw) that keeps him awake for almost an hour and then they expect him to eat again 20 minutes later. It is really annoying the heck out of me. Do they really think that a premie baby is going to be able to be awake for an hour and half getting poked and prodded and then be able to drink his weight in milk??? I don't think so. AHHHH I am so frustrated.

As you can probably tell, my nerves are SHOT! I am at my wits end right now and I have no idea when we will be able to come home. They keep talking about him needing to up his calories so they keep fortifying the milk with extra calories, but then he pukes it all up. I have mentioned it to his nurses and doctors that I feel that it's the fortifier that is making him throw up because it only happens when he drinks that, not when he nurses or drinks plain breast milk, and they just keep upping the amount so he gets more calories!! And he keeps throwing up! Aren't they supposed to listen to the moms????

Sorry for the huge rant today! Hopefully tomorrow I won't be so tired and will be in a better mood. Please just pray for our family to keep our tempers in check, we have been getting pretty snappy at each other and this life is really wearing on both of us! (Expedia people, I am sure Ryan is counting down the days he can come back to work!) Ryan's tired of being the stay at home dad, and I am tired of NOT being the stay at home mom and getting everything done at my house how I like it done! I feel like all of my time home with both of my kids has been spent in a hospital and not at home enjoying my children. Please also just pray that Eli miraculously starts eating what they want him to eat, which I have no idea what that is, so he can go home soon. I feel strongly that feeding wise, if he went home tomorrow he would do great. He had two successful nursing times today and he really seemed to click on that. Plus he has been taking a bottle like a champ. I just really feel he needs to be left alone! And he just needs time with his momma to hang out and be free to do what he wants to do.

Also please pray that they can get the dose of his blood thinner figured out. When they did the lab yesterday the amount seemed high, so they wanted to test it again today to make sure it was still the right amount. Unfortunately, he has really small veins and has been poked a ton so they haven't been very successful with this draw. Please pray that tomorrow we can get it quickly and easily without too much stress to him and that the levels come back within a theraputic range.

Again sorry for the huge emotional spewage! But I guess I am always good for that. I know that we are making baby steps each day, I am just so ready to be home. I have now been in the hospital 22 days!